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The Golden Door

News and views on immigration law

Archive for July, 2013

Eulogy for my Dad

Tuesday, July 16th, 2013

My father died recently.  Below is the eulogy I delivered at his funeral.  I wrote about him last year, a few months after it was clear that he was terminally ill:  see The Spirit of the Immigrant.  This, I guess, is the coda to that piece.


My dad is gone. I was wondering if it would be any less painful if dad died at a later age, after a very full and complete life? Maybe. I think part of the grief I feel is because dad was so vigorous and full of life before he got sick. His cancer robbed him of that vitality long before it took his life.

Dad was always there for us, opinionated, always ready to help, playful and grouchy in quick succession (like me, like my son). His love for his family, although almost never said in words, came through loud and clear in his actions. His last thoughts were what he could do to make sure my mother, my brother, my son, and I were taken care of. His last instructions to us were that we love and take care of each other.

It was sometimes hard to know, because dad rarely spoke about his own feelings, when he was proud of us or when he was disappointed. But in the end, I don’t think it really matters. He loved us, his children, whether we succeeded or failed in our endeavors.

As my mother has said in the days since his death, you cannot take any of your possessions with you when you go. What dad leaves behind are our memories – all of our memories – of a hard-working man who was always there for his family and friends. I have never known him to let anyone down, and I will miss his laughter, his bright smile, his stories that poked gentle fun at people, how he never complained about how unfair life can be, his strength of will, and his unconditional love.

Dad would want to thank many of his family and friends for their love and support over his lifetime, but particularly, since he became sick, I know that he would want to give special thanks to his good friends, Bac Bao and Bac Nhung, Di Ngoc Ha and Bac Chuong, and Bac Chan and Bac Thanh, and Bac Dich and Di Bich-Ngoc for caring for him in his time of need. Thank you for being good friends to my dad.

May his journey continue in peace and the knowledge that he is loved and deeply missed. Con tuong ba va nho ba nhieu.

Post Script to Consular Nonreviewability

Sunday, July 7th, 2013

A few months ago, I wrote about a K-1 fiancé visa case of mine that was impossible to move forward and where repeated requests for information and clarity went nowhere.  (See The pitfalls of the K-1 fiance visa: Consular nonreviewability.)

A recent episode of National Public Radio’s This American Life illustrates this same frustrating experience perfectly.  The show put up a web page providing the email correspondence between an Iraqi interpreter for the U.S. government and the U.S. immigration office handling his case.  In the end, the applicant was killed before his employment with the U.S. government was verified to the (impossible standard of) satisfaction of the agency.  You have to read it to believe it:  This American Life – Taking Names.